Uncategorized

Writer or Junkie?

OK, so, I’m at that admit you have a problem stage.

I love writing.  The act of writing, drafting, editing, all the stages of writing, even being stuck.  Love, love, love.  I love it like a junkie loves heroin or crack. (That’s still a thing, right? Crack?)  I love posting, commenting, critiquing, reading, all facets of the writer world.

But, I have a life. Correction: I’m supposed to have a life. But for some reason, my laundry is NOT getting done. And my house is a borderline pigsty. I’m connecting better with my writer friends, but not as well with my nonwriter friends. I’m sneaking writing into my work day. I’m not advancing on long-term work projects. Neither am advancing on long-term home projects.

I am happier, but I’m not. I tend to take everything for the team player I am when I don’t write.

I must find balance, or I will have to give up writing again. Completely this time.  I did that for a while, gave up writing, gave up non-work related reading, gave up TV shows and movies. Any narrative I wasn’t obligated to consume, I left behind.  I was miserable, and the ugly little voice that follows me and tells me I am worthless got louder and louder.

I need balance, time management, but also willpower.  Part of me says I can’t have balance, I’m like a junkie or an alcoholic, it’s all or nothing with me.  I don’t know if that’s the Voice of Reason, or the ugly voice, the one morally opposed to my being happy.

Surely, I’m not the only person who does this. Right?

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s